It Was The Chad

(of course it was)

Walking the Rude Dog

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A thick, black and white mutt ambled back and forth on the sidewalk, towing an older gentleman behind him. The sidewalk was wide enough for two or three abreast, so this should have been a simple exchange – a polite nod, or even a curt but friendly “good morning” as we passed, the man having placed the dog on the far side of himself out of politeness.

Except the man, like too many these days, wasn’t one for politeness. The dog found something about my side of the sidewalk interesting, and, though he saw me approach, the man was inclined to let the dog sniff where he pleased. Like a rolling, sniffing roadblock, they drew nearer. I carried on, confident that the man would reign in his beast.

He did, eventually. Mostly. Just before we met on the narrow path, it was suggested to the dog, not emphatically, that he might make way for the coming stranger. It really was up to the dog, the gentle leash tug implied. The dog agreed but, understandably, still wanted a sniff. It stepped to the approximate center of the sidewalk. Perhaps it was more like the center of my side of the sidewalk, but I did manage to keep one foot on pavement as I made way for the older gentleman and his sniffing mutt.

“Good morning,” I said as I swivelled past with one foot in the grass. I also nodded for good measure.

Interests Through the Years

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It’s that time of year when people ask what I’d like for Christmas, so I’ve started the annual list. It helps to reference past year’s lists because I just can’t think of much, so I’ve been looking through those and getting a good laugh.

It turns out my yearly Christmas lists provide a pretty good insight into what I was interested in that year. And if you know me, you know my interests come and go quickly. It’s also a fun look back at the technology of yesteryear.

Here’s a fun visit into Chad’s psyche via Christmas lists:

2009

  • Mark Ecko t-shirts – Yes, these were in at the time! I actually used the word “cool” in my description so purchasers would know what to look for. :)
  • iPhone 3Gs – Nope, I didn’t get it. :(
  • A book light – Clearly this was before I started reading predominantly on the iPad.
  • Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II Camera Lens – Before I mostly lost interest in photography.
  • Keychain flash drive – How quaint! Remember those? :)

2010

  • Vegetarian/Vegan cookbooks – Ah yes, this was the year I became semi-vegetarian. That actually lasted an entire year – not bad!
  • Xbox Kinect – Got it, used it once or twice. Great potential, but Microsoft dropped the ball on game support.
  • Wireless network adapters for Xbox 360 and PS3 – Can you believe they used to sell video game systems without wi-fi built-in?

2011

  • Lots of books – Apparently I was on a reading binge.
  • Mac and iOS programming books – Yep, I actually got a good ways through those but never built anything of my own with the knowledge.
  • Chiropractic sessions – I guess this was when my back really started bugging me.
  • Nose hair trimmer – Tee hee!

2012

  • Clothing and clothing gift cards – This must have been when I finally became sartorially inclined.
  • Books on philosophy – I’d been listening to philosophy courses on iTunes U and wanted to continue my studies. I don’t think I actually read any of the books I received. :(
  • Small household items – That’s right, we got a new house that year!

2013

  • Investing and Finance books – That’s when I decided to become a millionaire. I kinda lost interest in that too. ;)
  • Clothing and clothing gift cards – Wow, this interest lasted over multiple Christmases!

So what am I into in 2014?

  • Clothing and clothing gift cards – Yup, I think this is a permanent addition. One can always use new clothing, and for some reason this is a “responsible” thing to ask for that people don’t mind buying.
  • Beyond that, I don’t know. I’m pretty happy with what I have. Still, I’ll try and come up with something. After all, that’s what Christmas is all about! ;)

 

 

Something to Talk About

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I don’t write much on this site these days, letting Instagram pictures do most of the talking (and even those are sporadic). But I find that I have a few new endeavors going on that I’d like to share, or at least document.

These include a new food substitute, a new strength-training program, and a whole new work environment. Exciting things! Well, for me anyway.

Ready For Soylent

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I did it. I ordered Soylent. It’s scheduled to be delivered in December. I even convinced Karen to give it a try and ordered some for her. 

As I mentioned previously, Soylent is a brand new (not even shipping yet) food replacement… um… thing. The theory behind it is to gather everything a human body needs and ingest just that.

Well, I shouldn’t say “just.” While Soylent’s creators do believe we can live solely on Soylent and water, they are not pitching it as a complete replacement. They expect people to still eat socially, just as they drink socially. (I just love this concept of food being relegated to a social experience or hobby.)

Soylent comes in the form of a powder. Mixed with water, it turns into a smoothie-like drink. I’ve read experiences of beta testers, and they claim Soylent is absolutely filling. Those who went all out and ingested nothing but Soylent (and water) for a week or so said that after a couple days they didn’t even crave regular food. Supposedly, if your body is getting everything it needs, cravings simply don’t happen.

So why am I getting on board the Soylent train? For a number of reasons:

  • Novelty – I love new, big ideas, and it doesn’t get much bigger than replacing something humans have been doing since the dawn of their existence.
  • Health – I believe my current diet is healthier than most Americans, but that doesn’t make it ideal. Soylent will provide all sorts of nutrition that I’m missing now while also cutting down on all the crap that I currently put into my body. I’ve read reports of increased energy, sharper mind, healthier skin, and whiter teeth. I want that. 
  • Time and convenience – Most of my meals are eaten because I’m hungry and need sustenance. They’re eaten hurriedly and often without me even noticing the taste. In these instances, all I’m going for is the fuel, but it takes time to prepare and clean up each of these meals. Soylent is prepared in batches ahead of time. When I’m hungry, I can just start drinking.
  • Money – Currently less than $3 per meal, Soylent is cheaper than old fashioned food. By saving on those meals that I’m not even paying attention to, I can spend more on nice, social meals.
  • Weird looks – I’m not an attention whore, but I can’t wait to see the weird looks people give me when I tell them I don’t eat anymore. 

I’ve purchased a month’s worth of Soylent, so my plan is this: I will go a full week on nothing but Soylent and water. This is mainly to jump in and get the full effect. After that, assuming things go well, I expect to use Soylent for breakfasts and lunches. I’ll probably still join my wife for real-food dinners. 

This all assumes, of course, that I can stand the taste and texture and have no medical issues with the stuff. 

I honestly can’t wait. This is one of the most exciting ideas that I’ve ever heard of, and it could reshape human cultures, economies, and heck, even human evolution.

I’m ready for Soylent.

Learn more at Soylent.me. 

 

Wherever You Are

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Far across the distance and spaces between us.

These were the lyrics being sung as I walked towards the bathroom. I didn’t immediately recognize them because the song was slowed down, sung by a man, and unlike I’d ever heard it before.

And perhaps because I’d had a couple drinks. The first was a Mai Tai, one of Trader Vic’s famous concoctions. The second, unfortunately, was a fruity, nasty thing. While the island-themed restaurant’s drink selection is “fun,” it’s not the type of thing I go in for.

The lyrics did click pretty quickly, though, and I smiled knowingly at a tiki god who listened quietly to the live band, his back pressed up to the bamboo veneer wall. He would keep my secret that I’d always liked Celine Dion’s Titanic theme.

The stage was on the way to the bathroom, so I got a look at the band. The lead singer was bald, and the intensity with which he sang the song made him look more than a little creepy. The scene was amusing.

Inside the bathroom, I found a urinal and did my normal thing. The twisted but familiar music floated in from the stage right outside.

Once more, you open the door.

Timed perfectly on these lyrics, the bathroom door opened, and the music grew much louder. I glanced over my shoulder to see Creepy Singer sauntering through the door, microphone in hand and still completely into the song.

And you’re here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.

Alone in a restaurant bathroom with Creepy Singer crooning out My Heart Will Go On, I just cracked up. He slowly and emotionally walked to a bathroom stall and went inside.

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we’re gone.

I stood at the urinal, alternately laughing and grinning like an idiot. Very shortly after, a friend walked in and approached a urinal. He saw my goofy grin and noticed the singing wasn’t coming from where he expected. I nodded my head in the direction of the peeing singer and cracked up again.

“What the?” was his understandably confused response. I just shook my head.

The toilet flushed and Creepy Singer emerged from the stall. He slowly emoted his way out of the bathroom, never losing concentration on his sweet song.

Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more you open the door,
And you’re here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.

I just laughed and finished what I was doing.


 

Earth Moving

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I have some earth moving news. You may want to sit down for this.

Karen and I spent the bulk of Saturday reviving the plant bed by our mailbox. I know! Right!?!

Believe it or not, we dug up the whole area, turning the dirt up to deal with weeds and such. Wait, it gets bettter – then we bought and installed edging stones to give the area some definition. As if that wasn’t enough, we laid down weed blocking fabric and fresh mulch on top of that.

But here’s the coolest, most amazing part of the whole story: someone left a huge pile of mulch on public property just down the street from us. It’s been there for like – OMG – two months!! So we totally decided that it was fair game, and I wheeled five barrows full of the stuff down the street.

I told you this story was earth moving! Don’t believe me? Here’s the end result. Boom!