It Was The Chad

(of course it was)

Eating Is So Passé

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This man envisions a world where 90% of our nutrition comes in the form of a smoothie-like drink, and eating as we know it only occurs as a social activity. As far as I can tell, this is not a joke.

This is going to be ridiculously controversial, but it has some fascinating potential.

And spawns so many questions: 

How much time would we save if we didn’t have to cook and clean up meals? How much money would be saved and resources preserved if we didn’t have to grow, transport, process, and refrigerate food products? How would our society and traditions change if eating became less of a necessity and more of a leisure activity?  And how overpopulated would the world become if starvation became a thing of the past?

It will be interesting to see if this goes anywhere, or if, like the electric car, this idea is gobbled up and hidden by the humongous industry it could take down.

I personally don’t see it replacing food completely, but I might consider replacing breakfasts and lunches with this oh so tasty looking ooze.

Read the interview: 

THE MAN WHO THINKS HE NEVER HAS TO EAT AGAIN IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE A BILLIONAIRE SOON

Patiently Waiting

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You’ve seen the movie scenes, right? The ones where a man arrives home, removes his shoes and jacket, makes himself a drink, and walks into his office to discover a hitman patiently waiting for him?

I found myself wondering if these scenes have been parodied yet as I came home to an empty house today. I walked in and greeted my pups with my embarrassingly high-pitched dog voice. “Hello pup-ums!” “How are my poop-pons?!?” “How are my Mister Mens?”

Then I walked swiftly to the bathroom, explaining to the pups that they’d have to wait a minute because I had to pee like a mug who’d just won the Kentucky Derby. And, of course, I peed with the door wide open while making loud, satisfied moaning noises as I emptied my overfilled bladder.

Oh, and I might have been singing an old Cranberries song as well. Really loudly. The one with all the drawn-out moaning sounds: “Awwwwuhhhhh ummmmm, awwwwuhhhhhh ummmmm…”

It was at this point that the thought crossed my mind that if someone could hear me in my alone time, I’d probably be quite embarassed. I peeked into the office, but luckily no hitman had been waiting for me.

This time, at least.

I ♥ NFL

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I’m a fairly logical and reason-minded guy. I will happily delve into a logical argument about toilet seat positioning or discuss the pros and cons of the welfare state (an argument that has more in common than one might think). I don’t generally succumb to emotional arguments or give in to bouts of unreason.

The NFL, however, is one of my exceptions. I love the NFL. Why? Not because it’s rules make sense. Not because it represents a greater good in our society. And certainly not because its participants are otherwise worthy individuals. I love the NFL because it’s awesome.

I love the hits. I love the drama. I love the long bombs. I love the goal line stands. I love the stats and history. I love the newly broken records. But I especially love the Patriots and the Falcons.

And it’s this time of year – and this year more than ever – that I dream of my two loves meeting in the biggest love-fest of the season: The Super Bowl.

Oh fuck yes. I’ve never actually had to make this decision, but I have a feeling that were this dream matchup to occur, I would spend my life savings to attend. This is a once-in-a-lifetime situation, and it’s actually somewhat reasonable given the proximity of this year’s matchup: New wish-the-hurricane-had-swept-Drew-Brees-out-to-sea Orleans.

Sadly, I have grave concerns about both my teams in their respective championship bouts. The Ravens and the Forty Niners both have the Super Bowl in their sites and pose dual threats to my dream come true.

But, should it happen – should the Patriots meet the Falcons in New Orleans, I might just have to drain the ol’ savings account and join them for the ultimate game. And that most certainly is not logical.

Here’s hoping.

Surrounded by Distraction

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In Farenheit 451, the main character’s wife was portrayed as being constantly surrounded by distractions. She had a “TV” room where shows filled the walls, and she gabbed constantly with her friend via “telephone.”

It’s been a while since I read the book, but I believe the general point was that the government encouraged this kind of behaviour to cut down on people actually sitting around and thinking. Thoughtful citizens, after all, are dangerous for governments.

I’ve lately realized that I have been ensconced in distractions that have seriously cut into my own ability to think. Many of these distractions are of my own choosing. I enjoy TV and movies and books, after all. But it’s become too much.

Therefore, I’ve been making an effort to cut back on distractions. It’s difficult to do, however, when your wife doesn’t share the same desire for peace and quiet. For instance, I like to read before I go to bed, but she likes to watch TV instead. These things are not mutually compatible.

So sometimes I leave the room in an effort to escape the noise, but then she feels that I don’t want to hang out with her. Perhaps I should assume that she doesn’t want to hang out with me when she turns on the TV.

Or perhaps she’s just trying to keep me from getting in trouble with the government. :)

More Features

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Karen and I went to Lowes the other day to pick up a leaf blower. I didn’t know anything about leaf blowers and neither did the first Lowes employee I asked. I chose one based on price and features and picked it up to leave.

Right then, another customer showed up with a more knowledgeable employee. I overheard the employee recommend against the leaf blower I’d picked up and thankfully joined the conversation.

The employee recommended a more expensive blower with fewer features. I pointed out that it did not have the vacuum and mulch features that my previous choice did. He acknowledged that. But then the other customer asked, honestly, why that mattered? Did I know something about those features that made them desirable?

I had to pause and think. Would vacuuming or mulching leaves with a little hand-held leaf blower even make sense? After a few seconds, I admitted that I just assumed more features were better. I hadn’t even thought about whether the features really made sense.

We all smiled at that, and the two of us walked away with the higher priced but lower featured blowers.

I take two things from this experience. First, as a consumer I need to be more aware of why I’m buying a product and how I’ll use it. I should not let extra features sway me unless they’re actually beneficial.

Second, as a marketer I need to realize that people often don’t think when making purchases. Adding some silly features may sound like a bad idea but could be just what’s needed to get those people’s attention.

 

Looking Forward to Looking Back

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As predicted, this blog isn’t getting too much use. I guess I just don’t have that much to say.

Still, my intention was for this to be a bit of a time capsule that I can look back on when I’m older. Something to remind my senile self of all the fun things I did and interesting things I learned (and since forgot).

The problem with that is there are too many such time capsules already. I post bits of my life on Facebook and SmugMug. I keep interesting writings on Google Docs, Simple Note, or just on my computer. I backed up my old blogs on my computer as well.

And, even scarier, none of these things are future-proof. In fact, quite the opposite: they’re very likely to become inaccessible at some not-too-distant point.

I know the only real solution is to not try to document and remember everything, but that’s just not me. I hate to let the past go, and I long for some way to capture each moment and store it for future enjoyment. I love memories and want to be able to relive them whenever I please.

Right now, I don’t know what the solution is for me. But I suppose I should at least start writing more on this blog. We’ll see how that goes…